so today in the dressing room there was this hot guy in his underwear so i decided to take a picture of his bulge and i forgot my fucking flash was on… finish the story yourself
me praying and thanking the lord for this wonderful meal
did you just eat your girl out to hey arnold
trying to argue with someone over text is like being italian and having to talk with handcuffs on
Okay, so in Science class yesterday we were talking about sleep cycles and melatonin and my science teacher said, “if you’re trying to sleep, avoid one colour. Blue. Your melatonin levels decrease when looking at the colour blue because it’s the colour of the sky.” GUYS, I KNOW WHY NONE OF US SLEEP. TUMBLR IS BLUE.
THE JIG IS UP, YOU SNEAKY BASTARDS. WE’RE ONTO YOU.
It’s really nice when people actually start the conversations first bc it makes me feel like they really do care about me
do you ever just wonder if there’s someone who secretly thinks about you and wants to talk to you but doesn’t know how
being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you
[12 year old kid from the 50s who plays baseball voice] why i oughta
can she just get an award or something
I reblog this whenever it pops up on my dash.
So many directions she could have gone with this joke…out of infinite possibilities…she picked the best possible direction.
Best video in the world